i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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