So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
