i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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