I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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