I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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