and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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