if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
