I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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