She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
