You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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