You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
