So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
