Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
