At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
