People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
