Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
