Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
