My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
