At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Randomize
