Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
