i don't like sucking hair
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
