Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
