and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
