Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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