We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
