Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
