hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
