She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
