I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
