I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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