you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's blow job season.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
