why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
