Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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