just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
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This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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