do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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