i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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