If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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