You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
