It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
