girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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