we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is wine microwaveable?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night