A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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