no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.