No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.