just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we're making bets on your personal life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...