grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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