Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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