Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish there were birth control emojis
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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