It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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