i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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