At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
did i just pee glitter
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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