i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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