its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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