we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
