I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize