Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So much Jack, so little girl.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize