piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
