Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
