I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
