STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
