Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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