so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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