Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
